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[68newman]

Hey Danielle, did you mean a custom video or for members in your candid section? Do you do request custom videos?

[danielle_ftv]

Originally Posted by 68newman

Hey Danielle, did you mean a custom video or for members in your candid section? Do you do request custom videos?

I will do custom candid solo videos starting at $250.

[RonTheLogician]

Hey Dani,

Linda Lovelace, heroine of the breakthrough film Deep Throat, found relief by consulting with a polymath physician skilled at both gynecology and oral surgery - Rob wasn't the first to come along! So, one asks an FTV girl like you, might you like to assume the role, not of Linda of Lovelace, but of a glamorous, retro-era lady named Linda of London? Let me explain.

We fans know you are fond of your professional pseudonym Danielle, and variants thereon. Surely you've heard the song Danny Boy, which, but for the gender of its subject, might be a half-decent English-language theme song for you. The lyrics of this relatively modern song were adapted to a traditional melody from northern Ireland, originally known as the Londonderry Air, whose name used the quaint 19th century word for melody: air.

Thus we arrive at the (other) song to which I draw your attention, called Linda and Her Londonderry Air, which picturesquely relates the story of a peripatetic songbird named Linda, whose signature work, it seems, was the famous melody used by Danny Boy. The reason I think this number might be of particular interest to you is your predeliction for having guests enter via your back door. You see, the song plays with the pun "Londonderry Air"/"London derriere"!

So why waste more words? Listen to a charming 1960 performance of this song here by Elsa Lanchester, who won fame in film by portraying The Bride of Frankenstein, and would also grace the casts of at least three Disney films.

Should you ever want to do a bygone-era, backdoor-adventure Linda of London video series, exploiting this song as its title music, you could get a compulsory mechanical license, which would let you record another performance for use by your videos.

BTW, this recording of L&HLA is part of a collection here which includes two other songs which tactfully allude to backdoor fun: I'm Glad to See Your Back and, less manifestly so, largely via its title, Mrs. Badger-Butts

I hope this makes amends for forcing you to listen to Whistle While You Twerk!

[RonTheLogician]

Knowing your penchant for porning up Disney fairy tales I thought of you when I came across the following new book the other day. (Well, actually I didn't come, I just encountered it.)

Dirty Library: Twisted Children's Classics and Folked-Up Fairy Tales reimagines 45 classic children?s books and gives them a raunchy new spin, offering a short premise, book cover and fictional reviewer quotes for each. This makes them jumping off points for porn videos you might produce. Available at Amazon for under ten bucks here.

Exhausting these possibilities, you might then go on to do revised versions of Bible legends. What about the famous story about giant pussies which you could retitle Danielle in the Layings Den?

[RonTheLogician]

Hi Dani,

Since you have invested in GoPro gear, I'll bring to your attention the debut of a pet harness for it called GoPro Fetch. It costs $60 at Amazon, here, but I bet one will soon be able to find a cheaper knock-off, if not already. The product advertising copy promises that Mounting locations on the back and chest enable a variety of POVs Woo-hoo!

You can watch a demo of the harness on YouTube here.

[RonTheLogician]

Hey Dani,

Showtime runs a series called Masters of Sex, profiling fictionalized careers of sexual response study & therapy pioneers William Masters, MD and Virginia Johnson. Sounds ripe for PARODY! Call it:

Masturbators and Johnsons of Sex
Pilot epsiode: Impotence

VJ: So Mr. Bizkit, it says here you are seeking treatment for impotence.

Bizkit: Yes, I don't know what else to do, where else to turn! It's so TERRIBLY embarassing...

VJ: Please don't feel uncomfortable. We've successfully treated this problem MANY times. We're here to help.

Bizkit: Thank you for being so understanding... it makes it easier.

VJ: Tell me, how often do you have this problem?

Bizkit: All the time!

VJ: You mean you can never get an erection at all?

Bizkit: Of course I can!!! I instantly get hard and huge. It barely takes a slight breeze blowing!

VJ: Then WHY IN THE WORLD are you seeking treatment for impotence?

Bizkit: Well... my erection goes totally limp after 2 or 3... days. Barely a SINGLE day if I bang a dozen or more babes...

=======================

Sorry, I forgot the "sizzle reel"! Find it here. BTW, have you ever tried blowing pepper up an elephant's trunk?

[danielle_ftv]

So I'm shooting my b/g scene with Johnny Jardin this week. I would like to do some sort of roleplay scene. Any ideas?