Jokes

DWM222 · 10-12-2008, 06:17 PM

(Good one's Texas..LOL)

Let's try some religion..hehe

A preacher was telling his congregation that anything they could of, old or new, was discussed somewhere in the Bible and that the entirety of the human experience could be found there.

After the service, he was approached by a woman who said "preacher, I don't believe the bible mentions PMS"

The preacher replied that he was sure it must be there somewhere and that he would look for it.

The following week after the service, the preacher called the woman aside and showed her a passage which read. "And Mary rode Joseph's *** all the way to Bethlehem."

DWM222 · 10-12-2008, 06:26 PM

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following.

"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two ***** come together. I come once-a-more. Two *****, they come together again. I
come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time."

"You foul-mouthed sex obsessed swine" retorted the lady indignantly. "In this Country we don't speak aloud in public places about our sex lives..."

"Hey, coolla down lady" said the man. "Who talkin abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin my frienda how to spella "Mississippi."

Texasdrake · 10-12-2008, 09:15 PM

(LOL) those two joke's are funny.

laranger · 10-14-2008, 06:35 PM

Recipe: A series of step-by-step instructions for preparing ingredients you forgot to buy, in utensils you don't own, to make a dish the dog won't eat.

ask · 10-15-2008, 12:24 PM

Thanks a lot.........This thread is nice

DWM222 · 10-16-2008, 12:41 AM

Once upon a time in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.

The frog hopped into the princess' lap and said: 'Beautiful lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and set up housekeeping in your castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so.'

That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on lightly sauteed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled and thought to herself.

I don't f@#kin think so..

MISSY · 10-16-2008, 12:51 AM

I just read this to Tigger and he said whyyou's crazy frog! am I missing somthing?

10-12-2008, 06:17 PM	#1
DWM222 Danielle's Biggest Fan Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Colorado Posts: 478	A little religious (Good one's Texas..LOL) Let's try some religion..hehe A preacher was telling his congregation that anything they could of, old or new, was discussed somewhere in the Bible and that the entirety of the human experience could be found there. After the service, he was approached by a woman who said "preacher, I don't believe the bible mentions PMS" The preacher replied that he was sure it must be there somewhere and that he would look for it. The following week after the service, the preacher called the woman aside and showed her a passage which read. "And Mary rode Joseph's *** all the way to Bethlehem." __________________ Have I ever lied to you....That you know of?

10-12-2008, 06:26 PM	#2
DWM222 Danielle's Biggest Fan Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Colorado Posts: 478	Speech humor A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following. "Emma come first. Den I come. Den two *** come together. I come once-a-more. Two ***, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time." "You foul-mouthed sex obsessed swine" retorted the lady indignantly. "In this Country we don't speak aloud in public places about our sex lives..." "Hey, coolla down lady" said the man. "Who talkin abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin my frienda how to spella "Mississippi." __________________ Have I ever lied to you....That you know of?

10-12-2008, 09:15 PM	#3
Texasdrake Danielle's Biggest Fan Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Ft.Worth,Tx Posts: 399	(LOL) those two joke's are funny. __________________ I didn't do it!!! The dog did.

10-14-2008, 06:35 PM	#4
laranger Moderator Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Colorado Posts: 604	Recipe: A series of step-by-step instructions for preparing ingredients you forgot to buy, in utensils you don't own, to make a dish the dog won't eat. __________________ Mediocrity shouldn't be a life goal.

10-16-2008, 12:41 AM	#6
DWM222 Danielle's Biggest Fan Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Colorado Posts: 478	Fairy Tale Once upon a time in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle. The frog hopped into the princess' lap and said: 'Beautiful lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and set up housekeeping in your castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so.' That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on lightly sauteed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled and thought to herself. I don't f@#kin think so.. __________________ Have I ever lied to you....That you know of?

10-15-2008, 12:24 PM	#5
ask In Love with Danielle Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 177	Thanks a lot.........This thread is nice

10-16-2008, 12:51 AM	#7
MISSY Danielle's Imaginary Girlfriend Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: VA. Posts: 598	I just read this to Tigger and he said whyyou's crazy frog! am I missing somthing?