Jokes

[mart]

Love that story WhyYou, ahh the wisdom of age!.

[Geezer]

The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers. Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him." You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagine the pain that poor Tom must have experienced. "Tom was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and every move caused him terrible pain." We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Tom's scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place." Again, the men in the congregation cringed and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Tom. "Now," she announced in a quavering voice, "thank the Lord, Tom is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely." All the men sighed with unified relief.

The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.

A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium.

He said, "I'm Tom Smith." The entire congregation held its breath.

"I just want to tell my wife the word is sternum."

[WhyYou]

In a recent news broadcast, it was announced that Lorena Bobbitt's sister Louella was arrested for an alleged attempt to perform the same act on her husband as her famous sister had done several years ago. Sources reveal the sister was not as accurate as Lorena.

She allegedly missed the target and stabbed her husband in the upper thigh causing severe muscle and tendon damage.
The husband is reported to be in serious, but stable condition and Luella has been charged with....
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> A Misdewiener!

[tigger]

LOLOLOLOL

[WhyYou]

Got this in my email this morning:



A man is driving along a highway


and sees a rabbit jump out


across the middle of the road.


He swerves to avoid hitting it,


but unfortunately


the rabbit jumps right in front of the car.


The driver,


a sensitive man as well as an animal lover,


pulls over and gets out to see


what has become of the rabbit.


Much to his dismay,


the rabbit is dead.


The driver feels so awful


that he begins to cry.


A beautiful blonde woman


driving down the highway


sees a man crying on the


side of the road


and pulls over.


She steps out of the car


and asks the man what's wrong.


"I feel terrible," !


he explains,


"I accidentally hit this rabbit


and killed it."


The blonde says,


"Don't worry."


She runs to her car


and pulls out a spray can.


She walks over to the limp, dead rabbit,


bends down,


and sprays the contents onto the rabbit.


The rabbit jumps up,


waves its paw at the two of them


and hops off down the road.


Ten feet away the rabbit stops,


turns around and waves again,


he hops down the road another 10 feet,


turns and waves, hops another ten feet,


turns and waves,


and repeats this again and again and again,


until he hops out of sight.


The man is astonished.


He runs over to the woman and demands,


"What is in that can?


What did you spray on that rabbit?"


The woman turns the can around


so that the man can read the label.


It says..




(Are you ready for this?)











(Are you sure?)






(This is bad!)






(It's definitely a Blonde Joke!)






(You know you could just click off


and not read the punch line....)




(You can still delete it)






(You know you're gonna be sorry)







(Last chance)







(OK, here it is)








It says,






"Hair Spray -


Restores life to dead hair,


and adds permanent wave."

[tigger]

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

[happy7645]

hhahaha nice joke
But is it only for blondes?
Or isn't?