Jokes

DWM222 · 10-12-2008, 05:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Texasdrake

DMW222 I heard that joke before.Still funny everytime I hear it.

Thanx...I've heard or been sent thousands of these over the years so I just pass em on..you've got some good one's too..

DWM222 · 10-12-2008, 05:42 PM

Have ya heard this one...

Due to the popularity of the Survivor's shows, Wyoming is planning to do its own, titled 'Survivor-Wyoming Style.

The contestants will start in Cheyenne, travel over to Casper and Rawlins

Then, they will head west to Rock Springs, north to Pinedale and Big Piney

From there they will proceed east to Gillette

The final leg will be back to Cheyenne

Each will be driving a pink Volvo with California license plates and a HUGE bumper sticker that reads:

'I'm gay. I'm a Vegetarian. Beer is harmful to Your health. Republicans suck. Obama in 2008. Deer hunting is murder, and I'm here to confiscate your guns.'

The first one that makes it back to Cheyenne alive wins.

Texasdrake · 10-12-2008, 05:49 PM

" You get to choose,Harvey," the fellow who had set up the double date told his buddy. "One of them has kind of a dumpy figure and is short on looks,but she's incredible when she gives a blow job! The other is pretty and has a perfect pair of legs,which she shows off by wearing shoes with high heels"
"Say no more,Fred," interrupted Harvey. "I'll go for head over heels any time."

Texasdrake · 10-12-2008, 05:51 PM

(LOL) DMW222,no I hadn't heard that one before.Its funny..

Texasdrake · 10-12-2008, 05:57 PM

Because Sir Lancelot had been complaining about the fit,Queen Guinevere went secretly to a famous plastic surgeon for a general genital tightening. "And now," she mused happily, "I'm all tucked in for the knight!"

Texasdrake · 10-12-2008, 06:10 PM

"My taste in dates," the girl remarked during a lunch hour hen session, "runs to men who are tall,dark and hung some."

DWM222 · 10-12-2008, 06:17 PM

(Good one's Texas..LOL)

Let's try some religion..hehe

A preacher was telling his congregation that anything they could of, old or new, was discussed somewhere in the Bible and that the entirety of the human experience could be found there.

After the service, he was approached by a woman who said "preacher, I don't believe the bible mentions PMS"

The preacher replied that he was sure it must be there somewhere and that he would look for it.

The following week after the service, the preacher called the woman aside and showed her a passage which read. "And Mary rode Joseph's *** all the way to Bethlehem."

DWM222 · 10-12-2008, 06:26 PM

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following.

"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two ***** come together. I come once-a-more. Two *****, they come together again. I
come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time."

"You foul-mouthed sex obsessed swine" retorted the lady indignantly. "In this Country we don't speak aloud in public places about our sex lives..."

"Hey, coolla down lady" said the man. "Who talkin abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin my frienda how to spella "Mississippi."

10-12-2008, 05:42 PM	#2
DWM222 Danielle's Biggest Fan Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Colorado Posts: 478	Survivor..Wyoming Style Have ya heard this one... Due to the popularity of the Survivor's shows, Wyoming is planning to do its own, titled 'Survivor-Wyoming Style. The contestants will start in Cheyenne, travel over to Casper and Rawlins Then, they will head west to Rock Springs, north to Pinedale and Big Piney From there they will proceed east to Gillette The final leg will be back to Cheyenne Each will be driving a pink Volvo with California license plates and a HUGE bumper sticker that reads: 'I'm gay. I'm a Vegetarian. Beer is harmful to Your health. Republicans suck. Obama in 2008. Deer hunting is murder, and I'm here to confiscate your guns.' The first one that makes it back to Cheyenne alive wins. __________________ Have I ever lied to you....That you know of?

10-12-2008, 05:49 PM	#3
Texasdrake Danielle's Biggest Fan Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Ft.Worth,Tx Posts: 399	" You get to choose,Harvey," the fellow who had set up the double date told his buddy. "One of them has kind of a dumpy figure and is short on looks,but she's incredible when she gives a blow job! The other is pretty and has a perfect pair of legs,which she shows off by wearing shoes with high heels" "Say no more,Fred," interrupted Harvey. "I'll go for head over heels any time." __________________ I didn't do it!!! The dog did.

10-12-2008, 05:51 PM	#4
Texasdrake Danielle's Biggest Fan Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Ft.Worth,Tx Posts: 399	(LOL) DMW222,no I hadn't heard that one before.Its funny.. __________________ I didn't do it!!! The dog did.

10-12-2008, 05:57 PM	#5
Texasdrake Danielle's Biggest Fan Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Ft.Worth,Tx Posts: 399	Because Sir Lancelot had been complaining about the fit,Queen Guinevere went secretly to a famous plastic surgeon for a general genital tightening. "And now," she mused happily, "I'm all tucked in for the knight!" __________________ I didn't do it!!! The dog did.

10-12-2008, 06:10 PM	#6
Texasdrake Danielle's Biggest Fan Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Ft.Worth,Tx Posts: 399	"My taste in dates," the girl remarked during a lunch hour hen session, "runs to men who are tall,dark and hung some." __________________ I didn't do it!!! The dog did.

10-12-2008, 06:17 PM	#7
DWM222 Danielle's Biggest Fan Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Colorado Posts: 478	A little religious (Good one's Texas..LOL) Let's try some religion..hehe A preacher was telling his congregation that anything they could of, old or new, was discussed somewhere in the Bible and that the entirety of the human experience could be found there. After the service, he was approached by a woman who said "preacher, I don't believe the bible mentions PMS" The preacher replied that he was sure it must be there somewhere and that he would look for it. The following week after the service, the preacher called the woman aside and showed her a passage which read. "And Mary rode Joseph's *** all the way to Bethlehem." __________________ Have I ever lied to you....That you know of?

10-12-2008, 06:26 PM	#8
DWM222 Danielle's Biggest Fan Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Colorado Posts: 478	Speech humor A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following. "Emma come first. Den I come. Den two *** come together. I come once-a-more. Two ***, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time." "You foul-mouthed sex obsessed swine" retorted the lady indignantly. "In this Country we don't speak aloud in public places about our sex lives..." "Hey, coolla down lady" said the man. "Who talkin abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin my frienda how to spella "Mississippi." __________________ Have I ever lied to you....That you know of?

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