Jokes

[Texasdrake]

An old man shuffled carefully into an ice cream parlor.He pulled himself slowly and painfully up onto a stool.After catching his breath he ordered a banana split.As the waitress fixed the order she asked, " Crushed nuts?"
"No," he replied, " Hemorrhoids."



An old man hadn't been able to hear for years.He finally went to see a doctor,who diagnosed the problem and restored his hearing.A month later the man returned for a follow-up.
"Your family must be really happy you can hear again," the doctor said.
" Oh, I haven't told my family yet," the man said. " I just sit around and listen to them talk.So far I've changed my will three times."