*** Danielle's Journal ***

[danielle_ftv]

Dec. 15, 2009
Um, wow. Just checked out the latest FTVGirls vote and weirdly enough brunettes are preferred over blondes. Makes me wonder if I should go darker again. Though the likelyhood of that happening is not very high. I've paid WAY too much money to get my hair to this color (black is the hardest color to dye.) My mom definitely thinks I should dye my hair darker though (but then again this is the same woman who convinced me to cut almost all my hair off.)

[danielle_ftv]

Dec. 15, 2009
I'm done with my promo video for the Miss Freeones contest. Check it out and tell me what you guys think. See how much effort I put into this...shows you how much I want to win this contest .

[danielle_ftv]

Dec. 22, 2009
I must admit, sometimes I have a pretty kinky life. Last Friday my friend was throwing a Christmas house party. I ended up shopping with my other friend Andrew for an "elephant exchange". The stuff I got for the gifts was super random and pretty amusing. In one gift bag I put sake, lobster pate, a plastic cup with an asian boy character on it, a piece of cheese and some other random things. In another gift bag I put this weird spinning pig pen, summer sausage, a small bottle of champagne, a small bongo, and other weird things. I was pretty much just walking around the store and picking up the most random stuff I could find, the whole time laughing like a maniac, imagining peoples expressions when the saw what their gift bag contained. I ended up getting the game 1,000 Drinking Games (which unfortunately I already owned.)

Everyone had to dress in Christmas gear. I didn't realize that all the girls were going to be wearing super sexy Christmas outfits so I ended up buying this outfit.



I wanted to be one of the craziest dressed people there so I bought cute flannel pj shorts, knee high socks with fur on the top, slipper with little gnomes on them, a gnome sleeping t-shirt, and Hello Kitty earmuffs. I was pretty much the only person there not wearing red (though I thought blue was the new Christmas red .) I also ended up buying a bottle of champage and this huge "pimp cup" (which was just a huge thick gobblet.) I was planning on buying a huge martini glass or a funky shaped wine decanter to carry my champagne in but then I decided against it when I thought of how likely it was to spill it.

I would say during the whole party there was probably only 20 people there (which is great for a house party...and especially if everyone is fairly close.) I was worried about the cops getting called for a noise violation but the party went on until 7 AM (and probably later than that, but that's when I left) and we had no problems with cops. Jessica and Keley decorated the house beautifully and even baked cookies and cupcakes. Everything started off really well...we played F@ck the Dealer with like 12 people (which is kind of difficult especially if most of you are drunk and have never played before.)

Towards about 11 half the party left, and we were left with the "fun, adventurous, don't give a cr@p about anything" group. Things got pretty...well frisky after that. I'll admit by that time I was pretty um, not sober (but I won't use that as an excuse since I can be sober as heck and still want to get into a girls pants.) The party ended up turning into a regular girls only orgy. I ended up messing around with four girls (yeah for me!) and got two of them off (yeah for me again!) There were some guys there but they pretty much just sat back and watched (and gave us hand and foot massages when we demanded it.)

I always love hanging out with groups like that. My friends are very carefree and don't really judge. With them you can get naked and start making out with all the girls and instead of getting weirded out (like a lot of people would do) they just jump right in. I'm going to try to get the naughty pics from Keley (I'm not sure if Linsdey took some or not.) If I can get them I will most definitely post them in my candid pic section so you guys can see what "went down".

[danielle_ftv]

January 04, 2010
So I'm pretty sick right now (and have been since New Years eve day). I will write about my New Years experience tomorrow when I am hopefully feeling better.

[danielle_ftv]

January 07, 2010
I just got finished reading and posting on the forum and read on the question thread a question about losing my virginity. I don't know if I told this to you guys before (or if I even should now since some people may find it kind of icky) but I actually didn't lose my virginity to a guy...I mean technically I didn't. When I was 13 I was severly anemic and had to go to the hospital because I was losing so much blood. The doctors had to put this medical device way up inside of me down there and that's what I lost my virginity on. I remember being so messed up from blood loss and from the medication they were pumping into me that I told my mom in front of a bunch of doctors and nurses that I "hoped that wasn't what sex felt like" lol. I remember her blushing so bad from that. So anyways, yep...my first time was with a medical device. At least I got the pain done with then and didn't have to deal with it on my 15th birthday when I had real sex.

Thursday morning I woke up with a sore throat. I have a theory that whenever I get super excited about something I start getting sick (it happened for New Years and it's happened during many other holidays and fun events.) All my friends had arrived at the hotel before me (I ended up having to change my flight to an earlier time so that way I would have enough time to hang out, eat dinner, and get ready.) I definitely think that my group was the biggest in the whole hotel. My group are total rockstars! I ended up getting to sleep before anyone else and that was at like 4 in the morning. One of our friends who is also a local dj here in Phoenix was spinning at the Resolutions party (the party on New Years day) so a couple of my friends ended up staying up until 9:30 in the morning to see him. There was no hot water New Years day so everyone got like 50% of their rooms, which was really sweet since I had booked two rooms.

I didn't end up going to the Resolutions party since I was super sick (coughing, sneezing, running nose, etc.) That weekend was also pretty uneventful since I didn't feel like doing anything other than laying around watching tv. I watched more tv that weekend than I've done in a very long time. I ended up seeing that movie Paranormal Activity (not a good movie to see when you live alone.) This week has been pretty busy for me. Yesterday Dallas and I went to Chandler Fashion Square (one of my fave malls since they have a Windsor Store there) to get our AVN dresses. I ended up getting my dress at Windsor and it was the first dress I tried on. It's super sexy. It's all black, fitted down to my knees and then flares out mermaid style. The straps are rhinestones, so I got these sexy dangly rhinestone earrings and a rhinestone bracelet to match. After the mall we went and got our nails done. I left my jacket there and need to remember to pick it up. Will probably do that tomorrow, but then that also would require me to drive all the way over there.

I also got airbrushed tanned last night, so sleeping last night was not the most comfortable thing in the world. The liquid they spray on you is kind of weird smelling (not bad, just different.) The one thing I hate about it is how sticky it makes you feel. I have a bad enough time with humidity (which thank gawd I don't have to deal with in Arizona.) I ran out of books yesterday so had to run to a bookstore to grab more books to read. I hate being out after I've gotten the tan done. It's super dark before you wash off the bronzer so I'm sure I looked pretty funny. I noticed nobody would really look me in the eye (or maybe that was just me being too embarassed to look anybody in the eyes.) Dallas wanted me to go out last night with the group but I decided to stay in since I wasn't feeling well and didn't want to get even worse (which unfortunately seems to be happening.)

Today I got my eyelash extensions put on. The lady that does the eyelash extensions made a video showing people how to take care of the eyelashes....guess who's the eyelash model...me! I want to post the video but the last thing I want is to cause trouble for the eyelash lady because she has an adult model on her website. I was supposed to get my hair done today (which I need really, really bad right now) but unfortunately my guy had to cancel on me. Fortunately I can get it done before school starts but unfortunately I can't get it done before my shoot next Tuesday. I just bought my Valentines day costume and they shoot "item(s)" that I will be using. It's definitely going to be a very...fetishy shoot, I'm sure not all of you are going to like it, but whatever, it's going to be fun for me. I will be putting up my hardcore video on the site in the next couple of days. Get ready for it everyone. Actually I probably will need to do another hardcore video this next shoot day.

Did I tell you guys that I signed up for school? I'm taking math, English (freaking lame...I thought I tested out of English but apparently you can't test out of English), fencing (hopefully they don't cancel this class again), and philosophy of sexuality. I wanted to take this other sex class but I would've had to wake up super early (like at 9 or something crazy like that) and I've vowed to never take classes were I have to wake up before 10 AM. I just wish they offered classes I am interested in at night instead of in the morning.

So this weekend is the AVN awards. I'm so excited....I just wish I wasn't sick. I'm hoping that I can get better tonight and tomorrow. There are a few girls there that I am hoping to meet up with (April O'Neil is one.) Who knows...maybe I'll see some of you guys who are planning on going, there also.

[danielle_ftv]

Jan. 12, 2010
So I just got done with a hardcore hour of cardio. I'm really psyching myself up to start eating healthier and get in better shape. I have calculatted that by April 27th I should be in perfect shape. I went pretty crazy last week shopping for food. I bought a bunch of fish, fruits, veggies, yogurt, and chicken. The only problem is...well I don't really cook. All the meat I've bought is sitting in the freezer (heck, some of the stuff I've bought has been sitting in there for like four months now). I bought a bunch of ziplock containers so I can cook a bunch of stuff at once and just store it in the fridge. Lately I've just been snacking on yogurt, fruits and veggies since I'm too lazy to cook. I actually need to get more yogurt since I've almost eaten all of it.

So the AVN Awards were a ton of fun. I was still sick going there but for whatever reason as soon as I got a drink in me at the airport I started feeling a lot better. When we got to the Vegas airport Dallas and I ended up doing an oxygen bar "treatment". I'm not sure if it actually helped, but the massage they gave me was AWESOME. The first night was a ton of fun. Dallas and I went to Sapphires Gentlemen's club and spent a bunch of money (as usual). Then went to the Venetian to meet up with some friends and from there we went to this bar/club (I think it was Lavo). What's really funny is that for the first time I had somebody recognize me in public and actually come up and introduce themselves. What's even funnier is that it was Sara Peachez (another website girl)! We ended up hanging out with her group and decided to go to Drai's. When we got down to the taxi line to go to Drai's I remembered that I needed to get cash so Dallas and I had to go back upstairs to the ATM. Well when we came back everyone was gone. We thought that they had already left for Drai's so we went ahead and took a cab over there. About 30 minutes later the group showed up. Apparently they thought that we were going to the restroom and decided that they needed to go to the restroom to and then ended up searching for us in the Venetian for heading to Drai's. So that night I barely got an of sleep (about 3 hours).

We didn't do much the next day since we had a hair appointment at 6. Dallas and I were kind of irritated after finding out how much our hair cost us ($102!) I liked my hair...but not really. Honestly I wish I had gotten a hairdo that was down or at least half up and half down instead of all up. I was super worried about the dress I was planning on wearing because I thought it was going to be too formal. I ended up trying on my purple dress (you guys have seen me in it before) but Dallas talked me into wearing the dress I had bought for the awards. Neither of us could figure out if we were supposed to walk the red carpet or not but fortunately Dallas got ahold of our friend Kevin from Hexed Media and he told us to walk it. We walked around quiet a bit trying to find were it was supposed to be and finally found it hidden in this weird exit location. Walking the red carpet was....nerve wrecking to say the least. I was so freaking nervous that pretty much the whole time I held Dallas hand and rushed us from one spot to another without really taking my time for pictures. Next time I do anything like this is I am going to A) wear my hair down B) probably get a drink of alcohol in me to calm down C) practice posing better and D) get talent seats. FTVChris ended up getting Dallas and I seats in the fan section and not the talent section so unfortunately I wasn't able to really hang out or talk to any porn stars.

I hate to say this but one of the things that irritated me the most was that people were taking more pictures of Dallas than they were of me. I mean come on...I'm the porn star here. If I was in her place I would have been shoving me foward and would've been telling people to take pictures of me and not her. But you know what...I figured it out...it's because she's skinny. People are drawn to skinny girls and putting me next to her, well I'm a giant next to her. Big boobs rock, but tiny girls always win unfortunately. As much as people say that they like the way I look and they prefer women like me, most people prefer skinnier girls (especially in this business.) If I plan on going anywhere in this business then I need to get in rockin' shape. That's one of the reasons why I'm working out and trying to get in shape more.

The awards ceremony was a ton of fun to watch. Belladonna did this really hot dance with her dance troupe. Baby Bash also did a routine and there were these really cool (and hot) circus performers doing acrobatics all over the stage. We actually met Baby Bash's band when we were walking from the Palm's Place towers to the casino. I was laughing because at the beginning of the show the announcer was telling the crowd to do different things ("now everyone clap", "now everyone laugh" etc.) At first I couldn't figure out why the hell they were doing that then I realized that the AVN's are supposed to air on HBO or some channel like that and apparently that's how they do the "reaction shots". I wonder if that's how it is at the Grammy's, Oscars, etc.

Watching the awards definitely made me want to get...deeper (that's the only word I can think of right now) in this business. I want to win a bunch of awards and have people yell and cheer for me when my name is called out. Sasha Grey got the Jenna Jameson Crossover Star of the Year award. I absolutely want to win that award. I remember seeing Jenna Jameson and several other pornstars on different advertisements (and for things that aren't even adult related). That's what I want to do! It just sucks because I feel like I don't really have any way of accomplishing these things. First off I have no idea were to begin. I don't know who to contact and what to do. It sucks having all these dreams but having no idea how to make them a reality.

After the awards we went to a friends bungalow party before heading to the nightclub Rain where Paul Oakenfold was doing his Perfecto tour. It was actually pretty sweet hearing him live after hearing him on XM radio all this time. We ended up going to Moon because I thought April O'Neil was going to be there (I was hoping to meet up with her sometime during that weekend but that didn't happen.) We all went to Drai's (I think this was around 4ish or so) but went back to the hotel because the line was super long to get in. Dallas ended up going back to the room to crash out but I was doing it rockstar style and partied until about 6ish with my friends before finally deciding I was far to delirious to be up any longer.

So my sister is in town this week for my nephews first birthday. My mom wants the girls to go out to get manis/pedis and to do dinner and a movie. Fortunately you don't really have to talk during manis/pedis and movies but dinner is going to be a hassle. My sister and I can only seem to get along for about an hour before we are at each others throats. Maybe if I ply her with alcohol she will be nicer to me (though my mom would not appreciate that one bit.) School starts next week. I'm excited...but not. It's going to suck having to get back into the swing of things and not have days were I can just lounge around and do absolutely nothing (though I will have Friday, Saturdays, and Sundays to do that.) I'm going to be pretty busy March and April. The Phoenix Forum is April 8th - 10th (right during school). And in March I'm going to the Miami Winter Music Conference the 25th to the 29th and at some point will be doing a shoot in Hawaii with FTVRob. My next shoot is on Wednesday the 20th. I will be doing my Valentine's day shoot, probably another hardcore shoot, and I'm not sure what else.

[danielle_ftv]

Jan. 26, 2010
Okay what a bad time for the website to start screwing up on me. For whatever reason I can't seem to upload HTML pages onto the website...and unfortunately Rob is in Hawaii for a dental conference and won't be back until Friday or Saturday.

BTW I am totally dropping my philosophy of sexuality class. I am just not into philosophy at all. The whole time it just felt like we were talking ourselves around in circles. I guess I'm a very black and white person. I like things to be...definite. Other than that class, all my other classes have been going really well. I love my English class. The teacher is awesome and the past two classes I've had a blast in. My math class is...interesting. The teacher is this really cool hippy like man that loves Google.

My fencing class is going to be fun, but it's also going to be pretty difficult too. I only have that class once a week but it's for like two hours. Yesterday during the fencing class we were learning advances, retreats, and lunges. For whatever reason I was having a difficult time doing the lunges. First off I kept my arms pretty straight ahead of me to begin with so he would say "extend" and my arm would already be extended. Then he would say "lunge" and I would lunge but my front foot wouldn't step foward some of the time. Another one of my problems is that I naturally seem to drag my feet during the movements so it would kind of mess me up on my retreats. We are using the foil (one of the three swords you use in fencing). The teacher showed us all the swords and told us about each of them. Personally I think I would be better at the sabre which they use with cutting/slashing type motions.

This weekend I am going to Big Bear to go snowboarding. I think I will probably take a lesson the first day (since I'm only been snowboarding once when I was like 15 years old.) As usual I started feeling sick last night (I really do get sick everytime something exciting happens to me.) It's only a sore throat though so I think I can kick it before Big Bear.