Thread: Jokes
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Old 03-02-2011, 03:36 AM   #588
WhyYou
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Joplin, Missouri
Posts: 829
Default Chapstick

Got this one in an email today:

We had this great 10 year old cat named Jack who just recently died. Jack was a great cat and the kids would carry him around and sit on him and nothing ever bothered him.. He used to hang out and nap all day long on the mat in our bathroom. We have 3 kids and at the time of this story they were 4 years old, 3 years old, and 1 year old.

The middle one is Eli. Eli really loved Chapstick. LOVED it. He kept asking to use my Chapstick and then losing it.

Finally one day I showed him where in the bathroom that I kept my Chapstick and explained he could use it whenever he wanted to but he needed to put it right back in the drawer after he finished because I used it sometimes several times a day.

That year, on Mother's Day, we were having the typical rush around to try to get ready for church with everyone crying and carrying on. My two boys are fighting over the toy in the cereal box.

I am trying to nurse my little one at the same time I am putting on my make-up. Everything is a mess and everyone has long forgotten that this is a wonderful day to honor me and the amazing job that is motherhood.

We finally have the older one and the baby loaded in the car, and I am looking for Eli. I have searched everywhere and I finally go into the bathroom.

There was Eli. He was applying my Chapstick very carefully to Jack's rear end. Eli looked right into my eyes and said "chapped."

Now if you have a cat, you know that he is right--their little bottoms do look pretty chapped. And, frankly, Jack didn't seem to mind. And the only question to ask at that point was whether it was the FIRST time Eli had done that to the cat's behind or the hundredth!?!

And THAT is my favorite Mother's Day moment ever, because it reminds us that no matter how hard we try to civilize these glorious little creatures, there will always be that day when you realize... they've been using your Chapstick on the cat's butt.

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