[RonTheLogician]

Hey Dani,

This is my hundredth post, in recognition of which I will now be promoted into the category of In Love With Danielle. May I prove worthy of the title....

You know, long ago, when I was a lad, the Christmas season only began with Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade in New York City, broadcast nationwide across the USA, at the end of which Santa would appear, riding in his reindeer-drawn sleigh. The season has always been a gold-rush for retailers, so it is hardly surprising that over the years they would be tempted to do absolutely anything to extend it, in hopes of bigger profits. So now, practically the day Halloween is over, up go the Xmas decorations! And I say, hell, why wait even that long? With Labor Day now a memory, why not just begin the Happiest Time of Year at once!!! Yay!!!!

We, your fans, know you are an incurable bookworm. So it would be a big surprise to us if you weren't keen to gobble down all the Charles Dick-Ends you could! Therefore, I will now whip out the old Yule log and wave it in your face, in the hopes that you never, ever land up Scrooged!!!

I'm your worry-wart fan: You know, the one who is fearful you'll shove the Chrysler Building up your a$$ or land up poisoning yourself with your very own colon's microbes. So now I bring you early warning of where your increasingly wanton ways may lead you in the future, with the help of the Spirit-of-Porn-Christmas-Yet-To-Come (again-and-again!)

Aside: We all know your real name isn't Danielle, and since the Spirit doesn't want to blow your cover, the prophetic vision it offers calls you Amy (also NOT your real name!) Amy means "beloved" and has almost the same spelling as the word for "friend" in France, the famed home of your beloved fleur-de-lis, you crazy "Loosiana" baby girl!!!

Beware!!! Beware!!! Find the vision here.