Apr. 15, 2011
Last night was great. I attended another sweat lodge ceremony. This one was very small (only 5 people including myself). I was definitely a lot more comfortable this time. I was incredibly happy with myself at the end. I felt like I really stuck with it and for the first time I didn't have that hard of a time speaking in front of people. I would definitely attend another sweat lodge ceremony if there are less than 10 people there.
I am incredibly excited about tomorrow night. I scheduled another two hour BDSM session at the dungeon. I am very interested to see how it will go this time and what will be different. I bought this new book called "Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns". It's all about BDSM...the lifestyle, the culture, the pyschology behind it. It goes over what it means to be a dom and what it means to be a sub. It also goes over all the BDSM terms and instruments (floggers, bondage devices, etc.). Apparently I am what the BDSM world would consider a "brat". According to the book a brat is "A bottom who enjoys struggling against control or challenging the top...some brats are "testing" their dominate, others have the desire to be "conquered and tamed"." I think it definitely describes me and what I was acting during the last session. I think the description "the desire to be conquered and tamed" is a very apt description for me.
My friend Theresa and I are attending this spiritual retreat in Sedona next month. I think it will be very good for the both of us and I am hoping that it helps us to learn more about ourselves and what we want from life.
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XOXO
Danielle FTV
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