[mart]

Pat sends Mike to the lumberyard, "Need twenty 4 X 2's," he says to the yardman.
“Guess you mean 2 X 4's," he grins,” How long do you want them?"
“Dunno for sure, but it will be a while, he's building a garage."

Old timer is looking at tools at the local building supply store, he picks up a hammer.
" Don't make these like they used to," he tells the salesman, " I've had the same one for over fifty years, just had to replace the handle six times and the head twice."



A woodworker had a neighbor that always borrowed his tools and never returned them, one day frustrated with this he phoned him.
“Could I put my table saw and drill press in your garage?" he inquired.
“Sure," his neighbor replied, " But why?"
“Just to have all my tools in one place." he retorted.

carpenter, electrician, and plumber working on a job together noticed that the foreman always left on Tuesdays and Thursdays a couple hours early. Since he never came back to the job site they decided on the next Tuesday to leave as well a few minutes after the foreman had departed. The electrician headed for the golf course, the plumber decided to take in a movie, the carpenter decided just to go home and relax. When he entered his house he heard noises coming from the master bedroom, quietly opening the door he was shocked to see the foreman in bed with his wife, he backed away and left the house.

During the first coffee break on the next Thursday the other two guys asked him if he was into leaving early again.

"No way," he exclaimed," Last time I almost got caught."