You know, I was watching Teachers and it occurred to me that you do so much for your fans--some of it goes with the territory, some you do goes way beyond what any of us have a right to expect (although sometimes it appears some of use do make that assumption)--but who do you do it for? The website pays your bills, you have a creative outlet in both the performance and layout, but its still work, no? Re-reading your journal entries and letting things simmer for a few hours and I started to wonder if your desire to find someone, that Brit or someone else is you're need to find someone you can be yourself, not the persona you likely have to use here, and be yourself without someone imposing their image of you on. Moreover, who do you get to play with? I mean, sex replaces play, and we all need to play, no? I hope I'm not causing more trouble, just trying to understand myself. I do hope you find that someone you can play with, Ms D, let your hair down with, laugh and cry and dream with, and soon.
|