Hi Danielle,
Regarding your video response where you were talking about Love Bug and Isis - one suggestion to get Isis from clawing the carpet is to make sure her litter box is accessible (not sure if it's in the bathroom and someone has closed the door). If that's not the problem, you can spray the kitty gymnasium with catnip spray - it will draw her there instead of the carpet for clawing. Another trick is to put double-sided tape on carpet where Isis claws - they hate that.
Any guy who hurts Love Bug (you mentioned someone who was mad at you and took it out on her) should have his testicles removed with tin shears and fried with basil and Extra Virgin Olive Oil and served to him. In a blender.
For tickets and traffic school, next time you get a traffic ticket tell them you're going to contest the charge. Show up for the judge in a low-cut, sheer blouse, no bra and short shorts. It would help if you spill a glass of water down your front, just to guarantee victory. Or drop a pencil and say sweetly "Oops...!"
If you want a funny video, check out Meridith Vieira saying "Oh Sh..!" on nationwide TV when trying to read a text in a car simulator. If the link doesn't come through, look for "meredith vieira text message sh.."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature...&v=LwoFZA2EKJE
Enjoy!
-R