I'll admit I've thought about it, and often. I've only admitted that to I think 1 other person before, but since this unfortunately had to come up, I guess I might as well say it here. The thing is, no matter how difficult a day seems to be, I've always wound up not doing something rash. A friend of mine from high school hanged himself, a friend from elementary school through jr. high was accidentally shot to death. I don't allow firearms in the house simply because it would be way too easy for me to pick one up and give in--but that's the thing: I'm stubborn, and I have 2 young someone's to watch over and guide for as long as I can, and I don't want to miss one single day of being here with them. I can also say that while I've dealt with depression since I was young, and have had to find new ways of dealing with it in recent years (with some success, since I'm still here), it isn't easy--loss of pride, status, manhood, loss of dreams or hopes and so on take a heavy toll, and a massive sudden shock is just that--a massive sudden shock. Some days are harder to deal with--some days, were it not for those young ones, I do think I'd put an end to it all, and that's where this idea I read about that things aren't necessarily good or bad, they just are, so if you just take and accept them for what they are without imposing your own wishes on them, it makes life so much easier. There's this old parable that sums things up about 3 old men who drink vinegar. Two of the guys wind up wincing or frowning because the vinegar tastes "icky", but the 3rd guy smiles. Why? Well, because the vinegar tastes like vinegar, and that's a good thing just because that's what vinegar's supposed to taste like. I hope that made some sense ...my sincerest condolences go out to your daughter's friend & family, tigger.
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