[RonTheLogician]

Originally Posted by Randolph Carter

...If it works, I'll send you some cookies. Or maybe Danielle dressed as a Girl Scout...?

Originally Posted by Anoree

Hey, that's actually a nice theme idea for a shoot! Danielle as a cookie selling Girl Scout that ... seduces the buyer.
Danielle, do you still have a Girl Scout uniform?

Consider the following feature-film premise starring Danny as a cookie-selling Girl Scout.

In school, Danny's science lab class receives some new high-tech custom manufacturing gear (laser range-finder, 3D printer, etc.) and each student is told of his/her obligation to undertake some project making use of it.

After school, Danny and her BFF, who are both Girl Scouts, discuss fundraising for their Girl Scout troop. Danny brings up the tradition of selling cookies. But her BFF, Miyu, laments that "No one wants to buy dumb old cookies these days!"

So Danny then mentions the old (1978) dubbed German film they had watched together during the previous weekend, called Leidenschaftliche Bl?mchen, set at an upscale all-female boarding school in the Alps during the 1950's. "We could always clandestinely sell sexual services," says Danny, giggling, "just like the boarding school girls did to the boys at the boarding school down the road!" Skeptical Miyu grins, but says "Yeah, right! Like we're gonna get away with running a cathouse in our Girl Scout club house! ...We'll just have to think of something else!"

Now, Danny and Miyu are lovers, and when they run out of ideas, they start to go at it with one another. As Danny is going down on Miyu, just seconds before the latter is about to come, Danny's head pops up and she says: "Wait a minute! I just had an incredible idea!" Miyu says: "Goddamit! Can't you finish me off first?"

"No, this is too important!" replies Danny. "Listen," she continues, "maybe we can't make money for the Girl Scouts by charging someone for eating your cookie, like I was just doing... but what if we SOLD them your cookie instead?" Puzzled, Miyu demands "What the f_uck are you talking about?"

Now Danny explains. With the new gear in their science lab, the two girls can take 3D scans of their genitals and fabricate injection molds for cookie dough, whereby they can mass-produce edible copies of their girlie goodies. "Just think," says Danny, "these will be the very first Girl Scout cookies EVER sold which are replicas of the actual cookies of real Girl Scouts!" Miyu's jaw drops open and she exclaims "My God, what a concept! Let's do it!"

And what do you know? The idea is a tremendous success! Of course, given the very conservative nature of the local community, they don't tell any of their customers that the "artistic design" of the cookies they sell are pussies. But it seems that for some mysterious reason, customers find the cookies extremely appealing - perhaps because of an unconscious understanding that eating the cookies constitutes symbolic cunnilingus. (In doing their door-to-door sales, their most avid buyers are always males - and also females with crewcuts, hiking boots and well-developed biceps.)

Then the enterprise REALLY starts to take off! The initial success encourages Danny and Miyu to engage the other girls in their troop as models and salespeople. Needing a way to differentiate the various designs, Danny quickly hits upon the obvious idea of naming each after the girl upon whom it is based. So besides Dannys and Miyus, soon this Girl Scout troop starts selling Alices and Debbies and Julies and Pattis and Rachels, too. They even put up posters, in each of which one of the girls uses her hand to place a cookie into the open mouth of customer, whose blissful face says it all, with a typical caption reading "I love nothing better than eating a Julie!" (And once, you only thought "Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee!" Although I guess it's possible you also knew that lesbians on a diet ate Jenny Craig.)

Soon, business is so brisk that door-to-door sales are abandoned for a dedicated cookie shop which brings in no shortage of customers. And now that one can serve the cookies fresh for on-site consumption, an enhanced recipe becomes possible. Danny realizes that if she can make the cookies not only LOOK like pussies, but TASTE like them too, sales might well skyrocket. Since human vaginal lubricant is basically blood plasma, it becomes rather easy to access a commercial supply of material whereby "frosted" cookies, eaten on site, can be sold at very high markup.

Finally, the shop branches out into the catering business. Its big break comes when a national woman's church group decides to relocate its annual convention to town! The shop lands the refreshments contract. Come the day of the meeting, all the girls in Danny's troop are there, wearing their Girl Scout uniforms, and serving full trays of cookies to the conventioneers. Unfortunately, the bee in the bonnet of this group is helping lesbians to "recover" from the "sin" of homosexuality - as Danny and the girls only learn far too late!

All this provides plenty of fodder for comedy. Surprisingly, the convention women never notice what the delicious and lovely cookies resemble. That's because all of them are so sexually repressed that they've never once looked at their own mature sex organs, let alone those of any other woman. And if the rumors are true, when they bathe or diaper their very own babies, they even avert their vision so they won't see "something which God has forbidden them to gaze upon"!

But then comes the keynote speech by a "redeemed" ex-lesbian, who arrived just in time to make her address. When she is finished, she mentions how hungry she is to one of the women in attendance, who brings her a plate of the beautiful and tasty local specialty cookie to enjoy. At this, the speaker's eyes grow huge and her mouth goes agape. Then she says to her companion "Don't you know... what... these... are... what you've been eating all this time?" The naive companion innocently shakes her head in the negative, and when told, drops the plate in shock.

It happens that some of the Girl Scouts had been standing nearby and Miyu looks at Danny (who appears rather worried) and slowly says "Uh....oh...."

Then the speaker goes back to the podium, taps on the mike and silences the murmuring crowd that had recently applauded her speech. She then tells them about the cookies and the silence is deafening. Finally, as if she had told them the cookies were made of 100% dogshit, each woman in the audience spits out the cookie she had been chewing, in a scene worthy of The Three Stooges.

Miyu then turns to Danny again and glumly says "I guess we won't have our contract renewed next year..." At first crestfallen, Danny's frown then turns into a smile as she replies "You're right; but look at it this way: Now we'll have lots more cookies to enjoy ourselves!" At this, Danny and Miyu each take a cookie, stuff it into the other's mouth, start chewing, hug, and turn to face the camera cheek-to-cheek as the scene fades out.

I leave the final word to Nookie Monster - I mean Cookie Monster, here.

Edit: Link changed to English Wikipedia page. (The Forum software doesn't like Umlauts.) (A)