Hey Dani,
Linda Lovelace, heroine of the breakthrough film
Deep Throat, found relief by consulting with a polymath physician skilled at both gynecology and oral surgery - Rob wasn't the first to come along!
So, one asks an FTV girl like you, might you like to assume the role, not of Linda of Lovelace, but of a glamorous, retro-era lady named Linda of London? Let me explain.
We fans know you are fond of your professional pseudonym Danielle, and variants thereon. Surely you've heard the song
Danny Boy, which, but for the gender of its subject, might be a half-decent English-language theme song for you. The lyrics of this relatively modern song were adapted to a traditional melody from northern Ireland, originally known as the
Londonderry Air, whose name used the quaint 19th century word for melody: air.
Thus we arrive at the (other) song to which I draw your attention, called
Linda and Her Londonderry Air, which picturesquely relates the story of a peripatetic songbird named Linda, whose signature work, it seems, was the famous melody used by
Danny Boy. The reason I think this number might be of particular interest to you is your predeliction for having guests enter via your back door.
You see, the song plays with the pun "Londonderry Air"/"London derriere"!
So why waste more words? Listen to a charming 1960 performance of this song
here by Elsa Lanchester, who won fame in film by portraying
The Bride of Frankenstein, and would also grace the casts of at least three Disney films.
Should you ever want to do a bygone-era, backdoor-adventure
Linda of London video series, exploiting this song as its title music, you could get a compulsory
mechanical license, which would let you record another performance for use by your videos.
BTW, this recording of L&HLA is part of a collection
here which includes two other songs which tactfully allude to backdoor fun:
I'm Glad to See Your Back and, less manifestly so, largely via its title,
Mrs. Badger-Butts
I hope this makes amends for forcing you to listen to
Whistle While You Twerk!