Sexual "edutainment" video
 

Hello Danny,

You know, there are lay people who enjoy partner sex, but still feel that autoerotic masturbation is too private to share. Obviously, while you are less inhibited than that (at least when the camera is the only observer), I can allow it's possible you'd feel too psychologically vulnerable to talk while jilling. (Let me observe that traditional Playboy Playmate video shoots never ask models to talk while posing nude.)

If that is the case, what are your feelings about recording a voice-over after the shoot? It does make the production process more complicated, and perhaps you'd want to charge a sales-price premium.

While we're at it, you could also consider doing a two-or-three camera shoot (overall, face, genitals) which gets edited. Electronic cameras and digital storage cost nothing compared to the pricey days of film-based shoots. And if you paid attention in your psychology class, you know about habituation; the lesson for porn-film-making is that by cutting between shots, you can make a film "hotter."

Another issue is one of aesthetic privacy. Do you object to revealing what turns you on the most in your personal life? Maybe that is something you want to share only with lovers. If so, there is nothing to prevent you from scripting a fictional testimony; how would nearly any of us ever know the difference?

Would you be surprised to learn that someone is working to create an online company which archives and displays the "sex tapes" of lay people, one purpose being the instruction of their new lovers? I would not invest in Cindy Gallop's enterprise, because I still think that nearly all people are still too shy to participate. I also think she lacks a broad enough knowledge of porn given her critique of it ("Pro porn; pro sex; pro knowing the difference") as uniformly unlike real sex; for example, has she seen the work of Ed Powers, I'd ask. (Maybe my disagreement with her is a matter of semantics.) I'll let you judge for yourself by listening to her 20-minute TED pitch here.

As for the whole concept being "slightly clinical," let me remind (or educate) you about early above-ground sexually explicit cinema. In the generation preceding the legalization of "hardcore sex" film exhibition in the mid-1970s, producers would often combat legal and social resistance by framing their film as "documentary" or "educational." Whether this was just an evasion to liberalize the exhibition of highly arousing erotica, or was more mixed in motive, it resulted in a genre we now refer to as White-Coaters. Living in Germany, perhaps our friend Anoree might be familiar with the famous example of the Schulmädchen-Report series, which began in 1970.

Do I know you well enough by now? I think that as an artist, you would prefer to make romantic films with sexually explicit content, rather than stuff of the type under discussion. On the other hand, business is business, and who can be sure what is profitable until a test is made? I hope you already know that some of the most famous porn stars have leveraged their credential to produce and promote straight-faced sex education videos - even if they lack all conventional educational and medical credentials.

"Princess" Snow White - some day her prince will cum?
 

Hi Danny,

Regarding your upcoming "Disney princesses" serial:

Snow White has been the subject of numerous erotic interpretations in visual media (both animated and live action) over the decades. And despite what the naive might think, this may not be inconsistent with her mythic origins! In Everything You Know About Sex Is Wrong... (The Disinformation Company, 2005) editor Russ Kick writes (pp. 269-270):

...historical evidence suggests that female genital display can also be about promoting fertility, such as causing plants or the earth to flourish... as strange as it may seem, the fairy tale of Snow White, or Biancaneve, is suggested to have arisen from an ancient Italian ritual designed to enhance the fecundity of the earth itself. A beautiful, noble girl would be sent down a mine which was running low in iron ore in order to expose Mother Earth to her vital female essence or energy. Biancaneve, so the theory goes, came from the Dolomites region of the Cordevole river north of Belluno in Italy, an area which was known for its magnesium-rich iron mines.

Even the 1937 Disney film subliminally addressed the erotic dimension - which is not that hard when you consider that, after all, this is a story about a young woman shacked up with a bunch of guys in a tiny woodland cabin! Ponder, for example, how the seven dwarves present themselves to her as she lies in bed in the frame below. (If you don't get the import of the image, do listen to the song here.) Gosh, which one will she choose?


By the way, note that in this image, Snow White is in bed with the covers pulled over her, but is anomalously wearing all of her daytime clothing! One supposes it is "bad" enough that she sleeps in the same room as do the dwarves (note Grumpy's name-labeled bed in the background) - it simply wouldn't do to have Snow White wearing a night-gown - so she is fully dressed in her day-wear to obviate objections from the Hays Office!

Of course, by dressing her so, it calls attention to the very fact that she should be in bed-clothing, and so ironically eroticizes the scene in a way which is plausibly deniable. (A totally nude romantic model covering her genitals with a hand looks sexier than an indifferent naturist posed at ease, because the hand draws attention to the very part of her anatomy it seeks to hide!)

If you think my argument lacks merit, consider a short clip from Disney's 1953 version of Peter Pan here. Observe that one of the mermaids expresses shock (at about 1m11s) that Wendy is scandalously dressed in a night-gown - and notwithstanding the fact that two of the mermaids are wearing nothing at all that would reliably cover any part of their breasts!

The necklace on your Amazon wishlist reminded me of Yuki's debut single music video in 2002, The End of Shite. Do watch it here. Did you ever imagine the seven dwarves might go mining in the love tunnel? I guess size matters after all!

Now, you might welcome the opportunity to finally do a gang bang scene with these seven fellas out there in LA, but I tell you, it doesn't always work out as glamorously as one imagines, living in upmarket Sherman Oaks as you do! For proof, watch the video here! ;)

So you are taking on the challenge of a classic theme - like Shakespeare. But I'm sure you'll give it your own special treatment, not the least of which is your always-lovely self. :)

I don't live in Sherman Oaks anymore. Right now I only live in Tempe, AZ (I'm moving all of my stuff out of LA tomorrow).

Extreme sextoys
 

How about trying out some of your larger toys again?


You know like the FTV big five, would be fun too see you take on some big toys again :D

Leaving Mecca
 

Hey Danny,

I guess I'm sad to hear you wanted or had to leave The Valley. Surely you knew it is the mecca of US porn production, with the same preeminence which Broadway has for live theater and Hollywood for mainstream films.

Of course the Internet is a great opportunity for solo promotion and distribution. And I really admire rugged individualists like yourself. I sure couldn't tell you how to make your enchanting website better.

But it's still hard to be a mistress of all trades! I had hoped that by living in The Valley you would have found compatible, complementary partners, a chance to learn from experienced mentors, exploit higher production values and maybe even secure financing for projects. If anyone figures out how to cope with the piracy problem, it will be people there; maybe the chaperoned theater will make a comeback, but I doubt it. It's much more likely product placement will have a role.

By the time your generation reaches middle age and starts to control things, I'm sure we'll live in a thoroughly virtualized world where physical location won't count for much in your business. Of course, it also likely means that virtual actors will have replaced live bodies, with kinetic artwork limited to, at most, the manipulation and voicing of same. But for now, I'm not sanguine the porn kingpins socialize via LinkedIn or cast via Skype. Even in porn films themselves, it seems the use of digital FX is almost unknown, if one discounts pure animations.

I don't know the porn film business or that of film-making in general. So I don't know any implied business advice to you is worth very much. Perhaps it is because of that very ignorance that I held your residence in LA to be an important advantage. But then again, I guess you're only about 300 crow-flying miles from LA back home in Arizona if opportunity beckons there once again.

I imagine it's lots cheaper and less stressful to live in Arizona. Was it too hard to keep in touch with your friends there while in LA?

About four decades ago, I think it was porn pioneer Gerard Damiano who prophesied that the day would come that sexually explicit content was so mainstream that the boundary between porn and non-porn films would vanish. Save for the 18 USC 2257 documentation criterion, I think we now live in that world, where the frequency, duration and intensity of sexual content varies continuously over the spectrum of cinematic art.

This was something else which made LA interesting, because the San Fernando Valley sits in Hollywood's backyard, and I could see someone like you crossing over to mainstream video work. Actually, Michele Malene began as an FTV gal and then went on to do Coed Confidential for four years on cable TV. You've shown real acting talent in at least one of the recent videos I've seen, and this doesn't depend either on your youth or your beauty or your willingness to do explicit sex work. I also think you're smart enough to get into stuff like scriptwriting, editing and marketing, opportunities which may grow in importance in your future.

Anyway, we all wish you the very best in the time to come! <3<3<3

Danielle, have you ever thought about doing some sploshing? I've seen one video where some guy puts honey on your wondrous boobs and licks it off, but that's about it.

I could totally do that. That could be a really fun shoot with one of my girlfriends.

I plan on doing another extreme solo anal scene...probably next month. I have some large toys but to be perfectly honest I prefer them in my butt rather than in my p@ssy.

A mixture of chocolate syrup with vanilla ice cream would be fantastic. And delicious.

Well, I like butts as well, so looking forward to that! :)

I hope I get to watch the prep. Pretty Please.

OMG! Danielle eats her OWN p@ssy!!!
 

Biopic idea: the first Webcam girl
 

Hey Danny,

I'm gonna float a wild movie idea about whose true merits I confess ignorance. The reason that I am offering it here is that, by your preparation and visual appearance, casting you in the lead role might be a GREAT choice!

During 1996, when you were but a girl in Europe (albeit already masturbating!), and preoccupied with growing up in a crazy world, back here in the States we saw the debut of the first Webcam girl on the Net. In those days, the mass-market Internet was a breaking wave. No one but a handful of academics and similar folks had high-speed connections; you were happy if your modem could receive data at the "blinding" speed of 28.8 kilobits per second! It would be two years yet before a couple young guys would start up a company with the silly name of Google. Into this primordial stew stepped a brave 19-year-old college junior named Jennifer Ringley. She had the bright idea to update a somewhat-grainy digital snapshot of her room on a Web page every three minutes, and modern Reality-genre television was born! (The idea would only come to conventional European TV the next year and to conventional US TV three years after that.)

But the coolest thing about what she called the JenniCam was that it was live and completely unedited, unlike a pre-recorded TV show. And she would ultimately abstain from obscuring even intimate activities like changing clothes, masturbating and coitus - something then unheard of on television, even cable. This was to be the first completely frank documentation of someone's life at home!

Eventually, she would supplement her continuous snapshot parade with short (10 minute-ish) video logs, called the JenniShow, which subscribers could download at length and then watch offline in those pig-slow dial-up-connection days. These would be choreographed, if not scripted. Having a moving medium, with sound, added a whole new dimension to her story. About a dozen such shows have been republished as a YouTube playlist here.

And while not running a porn site per se, Jenni eventually generated lots of erotic imagery, as documented in a 2005 forum thread here.

All this made Jenni as big an Internet sensation as a new online bookseller named Amazon, itself only a year old when the JenniCam debuted. By the time you turned ten years old, she was so famous, she'd appear on a popular nationally-syndicated TV show hosted by David Letterman, which episode you can today watch on YouTube here. And cable TV felt so threatened by her brilliant success that the CEO of a giant cable firm denounced her in a speech to a congress of Roman Catholic bishops!

But sadly, at the end of 2003, the JenniCam went dark forever and entered the pages of history - supposedly because of the difficulty of arranging a payment scheme for a service that included images of nudity. Then 27, Jenni herself retreated from the limelight and has largely remained there ever since.

Perhaps now is the time to weigh the production of a biopic documenting this breakthrough episode in human culture! It is not so distant in the past as to be unfamiliar to everyone, but far enough in the past so that it is not simply yesterday's news. It might be especially interesting to young adults like yourself, Danny, who perhaps were not yet aware of what was happening back then!

While you guys are hardly identical twins, you physically resemble Jennifer Ringley in several important ways, which would make you a great choice to portray her in a biopic. You are far from unwilling to do nude and sex scenes, and you are already very familiar with the business sector she created. Hollywood has made several mainstream films about the porn industry over the years, like Boogie Nights, Rated X, and Lovelace. Isn't it about time they made one showing the birth of erotic Web-camming?

How good a business idea would a biopic of Ringley be? Would it be competitive with alternative uses of the money and other resources? Who would finance a script and all the other up-front production costs? Would Ringley agree to such an enterprise? And if you or your friends tried to pitch the idea, would you - rather than someone else - actually be cast in the lead? I have no idea about the answers to these questions. Does anyone reading this?

Danny, if you have any interest in this idea, perhaps you might like to contact Ringley. Even if she said no, I think your thoughtful interview of her would be fascinating in itself!

You posts are long but I imagine that some people read them. While I would love to star in a mainstream and/or indie movie outside of the porn industry actually producing one is not something I'm even remotely interested in. To be honest I would rather produce quality porn content. That's something that I've been talking to people about and plan on implementing at some point soon.

You are seriously too cute! Your comments in this post made me giggle.

Great movies and an idea
 

Hi Danielle from another newbie - just wanted to say your two videos with Lily were amazing! Your *ahem* reactions (still not sure about the verbal limits on the board) were almost cathartic; you didn't just go through the motions - it seemed like you were really reaching down inside yourself and something primal was coming out! Bravo!

The idea I had was for you and one of your girlfriends (it could be a guy, if you insist ;) to give each other erotic massages. You could take your time, use warm oils and calm music and really do a actual massage on each other. Add in any equipment you like, settings, outdoors, indoors; be as sensual as you like (I love women kissing), use fingers or tongues and generally have a good time. Any thoughts/opinions?

Primal! I like that! I do feel like my reactions to sex have become more primal recently.

I love the idea of an erotic massage video. Don't blame me if the video goes on for a couple hours and is focused mainly on me getting a massage though haha ;)

And that would be bad because...??? :D

Well then I'll have to make sure to tell my photographer that it's going to be a long scene ;)

Yet another (fetish) request
 

Hi Danielle,

In any of your lesbian movies, have you ever considered rubbing your breasts against those of another well-endowed model (some oil might help; maybe that could be part of your massage video)? A few minutes of that would make me a happy man!

Another thought would be tribbing. It's another fetish of mine...

Ok, that was two requests. Thinking of you causes the math part of my brain to yield to the naughty parts...:)

-R

FYI: The enduring appeal of massage
 

Massage has been the subject of a number of full-length films, from mainstream to porn.

When the US Supreme Court held (circa 1958) that published images of human nudity per se cannot be legally enjoined as obscene, the "Nudie Cutie" cinema genre arose. A daring variant on this was a film called The Masseuse, an excerpt from which appears in the documentary A History Of The Blue Movie (1970) by the late AVN Hall-of-Famer Alex de Renzy. You can check it out about two-thirds of the way through the latter film, which is presently hosted online here. By the way, Danny, as a porn star, I think it is well worth your time to watch de Renzy's entire film as part of your professional education.

Massage and conversation drove the plot in the 1995 R-rated mainstream film Full Body Massage by avant-garde director Nicolas Roeg, which featured the busty and barely covered Mimi Rogers. (See photo below.)


And even a mere decade ago, Jenna Jameson starred in a porn film which re-used the title The Masseuse.

Beyond film, massage begs the question of just what is sexual and what isn't! Consider the following, published here:

The teacher, Barbara Tuttle, begins class. "Touch one of your hands with the other," she says. "Feel the smoothness and roughness of all the various parts, the places where it's dry or moist." Some of the students close their eyes as they follow her instructions. Small smiles play on their lips. Tuttle's birdlike mouth breaks into a huge grin. "Congratulations," she says. "You all just masturbated. And in public!"

..So begins the fifth session of Our Whole Lives (OWL): Sexuality Education for Adults, at the First Unitarian Church of Austin.

When I asked myself why this should be considered masturbation, I came to realize that a lot of fellas have a five-legged "girlfriend" named Jackie! :p

Oh, the horror of it all
 

Mr. Carter,
I find your love-craft truly randy!

P.S. Given your patron's Red Hook issues, you might enjoy reading my suggestion to Danny here.

unexpected views
 

You don't have some old, maybe torn trousers and top that you don't want to wear anymore, do you?

As a variation to the "Heart to Heart" / "Intimate in Public" shoot, you could wear pants with cut crotch that don't attract attention at first glance but show your treasures if looked closely on or pulled open.
As top you could use a shirt with pockets, unsewn at the bottom and covering holes for your areolae.

You'd look dressed normal for the unsuspecting viewer but had access to all the interesting places. ;)

Possible titles for the update could be "Surprise Sightings", "Fortune Flashing" or "Amazingly Accessible". :D

Just one of the weird things spinning in my mind right now.
Another one is a zipper that goes all around to the back. :eek:

The Horror at Red Hook
 

Hi Ron - I was curious whether anyone would pick up the reference to Lovecraft in my pseudonym - congratulations! You get a star-stone from Mnar for that:D

I like your reference to "Last Exit to Brooklyn". although in Lovecraft's sense it would be "First Exit From Brooklyn"! Lovecraft truly hated New York, so much that he sent his wife (Sonia Greene) to Chicago and then promptly returned to Providence, RI where he felt he belonged.

Very perspicacious of you!
-R

BTW, if anyone here (Danielle?) is interested in free Lovecraft and some (IMO) truly excellent fantasy/sci-fi, go to http://www.hplovecraft.com/writings/fiction/

Coming on time
 

Your suggestion inspires a related, perhaps whimsical, suggestion.

The other day we discussed the long tradition of using episodic incidental instrumental music to communicate mood within cinema. A DIFFERENT use of music is the sort of short "music video" which MTV popularized in the USA during the 1980s, in which the visual action is secondary to the illustrated song, which runs continuously during the entire span of the video.

There are many "naughty" songs for which a music video has never been made. Your suggestion reminds me of one such song, titled The Husband's Clock. Danny could make a very sexy music video using this number which could be posted within the broad "not-over-18" section of YouTube for promotional purposes. (One could also use the same staging to do a porn shoot, too.) Besides herself, it would also require two male players, one young and the other old, some sort of retro (e.g. Victorian) costuming, plus some simple props. The acting would be mute, albeit sometimes with lip-syncing. Proper strategic placement of the camera in shots would allow the video to evade being called porn, while having much the same effect on the viewer, LOL!

I think everyone will understand exactly what I mean when they listen to the song performance recorded in the MP3 file here.

I was going to do a scene like that with Siri. I'm hoping to stay in LA for a few days next month and shoot a couple trade scenes with her and some other people.

I love the update title suggestions! I'm not sure if I have clothing like that. I would have to go through everything to see what I can work with.

You should do a scene with Ron Jeremy.

Not even remotely attracted to him....so I definitely won't be hiring him for a scene with me.

Atta girl! I wouldn't want to see you get intimate with the Hedgehog.

Da "do" Ron Ron
 

Are you kidding...??? He's like 1,000 years old! Danielle would use him up in a microsecond! Besides, the whole situation is highly illogical. Better to bring in a Logician ;)

Lol...you're awful ;)

Barbie goes hardcore? You decide!
 

Dear Danny,

It would be very strange if you never played with Barbie and her doll friends while you were growing up! Might she and steady boyfriend Ken still be among the things stored in a dusty old trunk somewhere?

Did you know that, like you, while she is an American girl, Barbie spent her earliest years living in Germany - albeit under an alias, Bild Lilli?

The whole story is this. In 1952, the Hamburg tabloid Bild-Zeitung introduced a comic strip character called Lilli. Sassy and ambitious, she was not bashful to talk about sex. And while she held a secretarial job, she was also fond of socializing with rich men. Starting in 1955, a Bild Lilli doll was sold. During a 1956 trip, American Ruth Handler, wife of a Mattel co-founder, discovered and would go on to license the sauerkraut sweetie, renaming her after her only daughter, so that she could debut in New York on March 9, 1959 as the Barbie we all know today.

Thus, one should not be surprised that Barbie never completely forgot her sexy origins, and would eventually win undying fame as Pornstar Barbie!

For some strange reason, unlike you, Pornstar Barbie doesn't have a profile at the Internet Adult Film Database (IAFD). But since I am a stage logician, I happen to know that Porno Babs does have one (albeit of dubious accuracy!) at the Illogicopedia here.


Pornstar Barbie started out slowly, just doing softcore films with a horror twist, such as her memorable part in the 4-minute Boys are Mean: Throw Rocks at Them! Check out her entrance in this classic here.

Ultimately, she and Ken went on to establish their reputations during the Golden Age of Porn, doing romantic hardcore like the beautiful 4-minute Pornografia which you can still enjoy today here. Believe me, you've never seen a facial scene like this before!

Disgusted with its tidal-wave of low-grade "VCR" videography, Pornstar Barbie retired from the industry during the 1980's. While her fans entertained hopes for a porn comeback after her appearance in the sexually suggestive mainstream 1997 music video Barbie Girl, they were disappointed. But now, strangely enough, as old as she is, Babs is looking for SOME way to get back into the biz! Happily, since she started out being made of plastic, plastic surgery has worked especially well in preserving her youthful beauty. Few believe she is two days older than Nina Hartley, but she is.


I spoke to her only last month and so know that she would KILL (and maybe even do scat play - eeewww!) for the chance to appear on Danielle Delaunay's Vlog Show! And get this - despite her celebrated fame, this veteran would be happy to take an UNPAID INTERNSHIP! I guess she figures the publicity alone would be worth it.

Thus I suggested that she and Ken might audition for a short regular segment within your show in which they did a static tableau vivant of a different Kama Sutra coital position each time, on which you could offer commentary. I was crestfallen when she told me this concept had been implicitly floated at Halfbakery here way back at the dawn of this century. But damn it, NO ONE has made it happen yet - and you CAN, should you so choose!

Since it would cost too much to license use of Aqua's Barbie Girl, you could always tell your vlog viewers to hum to themselves the part where Ken repeatedly sings "Come on Barbie, let's go party!" as segment bumper music.

Although you are obviously under no obligation to help Porno Babs, I have nonetheless sent you a couple of e-book Kama Sutras to enjoy. (Actually, one of them is a digest of both this famous book and derivative works.) While I would still toss the Kama Sutra for Masters and Johnson data when it came to sexual response facts, the former can be a source of playful and artistic fun!

To close, some nasty critics have sneered that Ken is very poorly hung for a porn star. As it turns out, long ago he put even John C. Holmes to shame. But that was before his tragic accident in a BDSM scene, when he was wearing the ironically named "Cheerful Chef" outfit, seen here. I'll spare you the ugly details, but that object you see pierced by the skewer is NOT a hot dog - although people sometimes do call it a wiener. Thank goodness he's still a wiz at Kenilingus!

Film premise: "Girl Scout Cookies"
 

Consider the following feature-film premise starring Danny as a cookie-selling Girl Scout.

In school, Danny's science lab class receives some new high-tech custom manufacturing gear (laser range-finder, 3D printer, etc.) and each student is told of his/her obligation to undertake some project making use of it.

After school, Danny and her BFF, who are both Girl Scouts, discuss fundraising for their Girl Scout troop. Danny brings up the tradition of selling cookies. But her BFF, Miyu, laments that "No one wants to buy dumb old cookies these days!"

So Danny then mentions the old (1978) dubbed German film they had watched together during the previous weekend, called Leidenschaftliche Bl?mchen, set at an upscale all-female boarding school in the Alps during the 1950's. "We could always clandestinely sell sexual services," says Danny, giggling, "just like the boarding school girls did to the boys at the boarding school down the road!" Skeptical Miyu grins, but says "Yeah, right! Like we're gonna get away with running a cathouse in our Girl Scout club house! ...We'll just have to think of something else!"

Now, Danny and Miyu are lovers, and when they run out of ideas, they start to go at it with one another. As Danny is going down on Miyu, just seconds before the latter is about to come, Danny's head pops up and she says: "Wait a minute! I just had an incredible idea!" Miyu says: "Goddamit! Can't you finish me off first?"

"No, this is too important!" replies Danny. "Listen," she continues, "maybe we can't make money for the Girl Scouts by charging someone for eating your cookie, like I was just doing... but what if we SOLD them your cookie instead?" Puzzled, Miyu demands "What the f_uck are you talking about?"

Now Danny explains. With the new gear in their science lab, the two girls can take 3D scans of their genitals and fabricate injection molds for cookie dough, whereby they can mass-produce edible copies of their girlie goodies. "Just think," says Danny, "these will be the very first Girl Scout cookies EVER sold which are replicas of the actual cookies of real Girl Scouts!" Miyu's jaw drops open and she exclaims "My God, what a concept! Let's do it!"


And what do you know? The idea is a tremendous success! Of course, given the very conservative nature of the local community, they don't tell any of their customers that the "artistic design" of the cookies they sell are pussies. But it seems that for some mysterious reason, customers find the cookies extremely appealing - perhaps because of an unconscious understanding that eating the cookies constitutes symbolic cunnilingus. (In doing their door-to-door sales, their most avid buyers are always males - and also females with crewcuts, hiking boots and well-developed biceps.)

Then the enterprise REALLY starts to take off! The initial success encourages Danny and Miyu to engage the other girls in their troop as models and salespeople. Needing a way to differentiate the various designs, Danny quickly hits upon the obvious idea of naming each after the girl upon whom it is based. So besides Dannys and Miyus, soon this Girl Scout troop starts selling Alices and Debbies and Julies and Pattis and Rachels, too. They even put up posters, in each of which one of the girls uses her hand to place a cookie into the open mouth of customer, whose blissful face says it all, with a typical caption reading "I love nothing better than eating a Julie!" (And once, you only thought "Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee!" Although I guess it's possible you also knew that lesbians on a diet ate Jenny Craig.)


Soon, business is so brisk that door-to-door sales are abandoned for a dedicated cookie shop which brings in no shortage of customers. And now that one can serve the cookies fresh for on-site consumption, an enhanced recipe becomes possible. Danny realizes that if she can make the cookies not only LOOK like pussies, but TASTE like them too, sales might well skyrocket. Since human vaginal lubricant is basically blood plasma, it becomes rather easy to access a commercial supply of material whereby "frosted" cookies, eaten on site, can be sold at very high markup.

Finally, the shop branches out into the catering business. Its big break comes when a national woman's church group decides to relocate its annual convention to town! The shop lands the refreshments contract. Come the day of the meeting, all the girls in Danny's troop are there, wearing their Girl Scout uniforms, and serving full trays of cookies to the conventioneers. Unfortunately, the bee in the bonnet of this group is helping lesbians to "recover" from the "sin" of homosexuality - as Danny and the girls only learn far too late!

All this provides plenty of fodder for comedy. Surprisingly, the convention women never notice what the delicious and lovely cookies resemble. That's because all of them are so sexually repressed that they've never once looked at their own mature sex organs, let alone those of any other woman. And if the rumors are true, when they bathe or diaper their very own babies, they even avert their vision so they won't see "something which God has forbidden them to gaze upon"!

But then comes the keynote speech by a "redeemed" ex-lesbian, who arrived just in time to make her address. When she is finished, she mentions how hungry she is to one of the women in attendance, who brings her a plate of the beautiful and tasty local specialty cookie to enjoy. At this, the speaker's eyes grow huge and her mouth goes agape. Then she says to her companion "Don't you know... what... these... are... what you've been eating all this time?" The naive companion innocently shakes her head in the negative, and when told, drops the plate in shock.

It happens that some of the Girl Scouts had been standing nearby and Miyu looks at Danny (who appears rather worried) and slowly says "Uh....oh...."

Then the speaker goes back to the podium, taps on the mike and silences the murmuring crowd that had recently applauded her speech. She then tells them about the cookies and the silence is deafening. Finally, as if she had told them the cookies were made of 100% dogshit, each woman in the audience spits out the cookie she had been chewing, in a scene worthy of The Three Stooges.

Miyu then turns to Danny again and glumly says "I guess we won't have our contract renewed next year..." At first crestfallen, Danny's frown then turns into a smile as she replies "You're right; but look at it this way: Now we'll have lots more cookies to enjoy ourselves!" At this, Danny and Miyu each take a cookie, stuff it into the other's mouth, start chewing, hug, and turn to face the camera cheek-to-cheek as the scene fades out.


I leave the final word to Nookie Monster - I mean Cookie Monster, here.

Edit: Link changed to English Wikipedia page. (The Forum software doesn't like Umlauts.) (A)

Doesn't all this have the whiff of abuse? Or have Girl Scouts suddenly become adults?

Nah...it's a just humorous fantasy. I think we are all capable of differentiating fantasy from reality and would never actually proposition a Girl Scout! Not to get all lecture-y (is that a word?) but most adult movies involve fantasies that would never happen in real life. How many times has your neighbor come over and seduced you? When did you go into a bank and the busty teller told you that there was an irregularity in your account but you "could work it out"? Has your secretary been caught tossing the salad of her attractive co-worker?

All in all, sex has to be fun and Danielle makes it that way by being both beautiful and funny! How many other adult stars do you know who tell you about their pets? In the world of adult entertainment, Danielle has put a tremendous amount of her personal life out for us. If you look at her updates, you'll see the type of person she is and that she would NEVER advocate child abuse.

You misconstrue my post. It wasn't Danielle I was considering but the general drift of the suggestions. How these things are perceived by others can lead to serious consequences. That was my point.

I don't know what age range Girl Scouts supposed to be, but I think Girl Scouts are a classic fantasy theme in adult entertainment.

I do agree it could potentially lead to problems, though, if it gets received wrong.

Proposed film "Girl Scout Cookies" - background material
 

First, no doubt Danny appreciates the fact that the fleur-de-lis, her favorite symbol, is the most widely recognized emblem of the scouting movement.


The article titled Girl Scouts of the USA in the current English Wikipedia writes

The program was originally for girls aged 10 to 18, but it was subsequently divided into three levels. Brownies (for younger girls) was based on a program developed in England in 1914 and was officially recognized in the mid-1920s. At the same time, girls over 18, or over 16 if First Class Scouts, became known as Senior Scouts. ...[Today,] the Campus Girl Scouts program allows women (ages 18 and older) to be active in Girl Scouting while in college.

Deep Inside: A Study of 10,000 Porn Stars and Their Careers reports on the most common female roles that appear in film titles. The very most popular one, more than twice as popular as the runner-up, is teen (1966 films). Among some other titles which suggest youth are #4 cheerleader (370 films), #7 coed (257 films), and #13 schoolgirl (111 films). (Aside: I had previously mentioned the famous 13-film German series of the 1970s, now on DVD, Schulm?dchen-Report, a title which means Schoolgirl Report. Its UK title was Confessions of a Sixth Form Girl; Sixth Form is a two-year British program in which the students are aged 16-18.)


The Internet Adult Film Database currently claims that it is an on-line searchable database of over 151946 adult movies titles and 129831 porn performers. When I search its movie titles for the term scout, I get a mere 40 hits. Among them, 22 bear the marking (GAY), which I surmise means MALE homosexual, as the movie titled Lesbian Talent Scouts does NOT bear it.

If I search more restrictively, for girl scout there are 8 hits. Sorted by year they are:

(1970) F_uck the Girl Scout
(1977) Girl Scout Cookies
(1992) Last Girl Scout
(1997) Girl Scouts
(2001) Girl Scout
(2007) Naughty Girl Scout Earns Enema and Spanking Badges Inside Flower Pot
(2007) Scout-Girls Born in the Sin [originally Russian]
(2013) Girl Scout Scary Bike Rides

The IAFD page describing the film Girl Scout Cookies is here. A thread here discusses it, claiming that ...no real Girl Scouts were harmed in the making of this classic motion picture. And a review of it here reveals a key aspect of the plot:

A girl scout selling cookies door to door leads [hooker] Betsy to a surefire way of escaping the unwanted attentions of O?Malley and police lieutenant Fawcett (John Leslie), a master of disguise brought in to trap the hookers, by offering her sexual favors in a similar way!

Let me close by sharing a fun story about porn superstar Ron Jeremy, whose name came up here recently. It seems that when he was a Boy Scout, he used to bet other scouts $10 that he could suck his own c_ock - and he always won. I guess some would call that self-abuse, LOL! And damned if I don't think it rates a merit badge; how about one for demonstrating self-reliance? By the way, I wonder if when Jeremy's troop went on survival treks, his peers would check the time by asking him to drop trou, lie down and think about girls, so that they could improvise a sundial! (For even more fun with horology, see the post titled Coming on time here.)

P.S. Danny - since Mr. Jeremy sucked his own c_ock as a lad and you recently demonstrated that you can eat your own p_ussy, it would seem you guys have the basis of a Platonic friendship. Not all of our friends have to be screwable, right?